Skeptic Spirit

Perhaps reality is the sum of our illusions?

For a long, long time I’ve been trying to focus on seeing things ‘as they are’, getting behind my own perception of things in order to get to some kind of ‘truth’. But right now I’m not so sure if I’m going about it the right way. Which, by the way, is a bit of a paradox, since this insecurity is leaving me to use the very same method I am questioning, in order to get an answer…

What I’m thinking is, perhaps there is no such thing as ‘reality’. Absolute truth is subjective, or at least, my perception of ‘absolute truth’ is that it is subjective, but I don’t really know, if it is out there. Something tells me, that if there weren’t some form of true reality, then there would be nothing at all. I’m not talking about the fact that the sun goes up every day (although it doesn’t, but that’s besides the point), but the fact that there is such a thing as communication and social constructions. We all conform to some kind of reality, that we are able to understand without having it explained. 

Sometimes someone comes up and changes the form of reality that we know. Someone alters the way we communicate, or the way we dress or the way by which we deal with authority. Someone sees an alternative to the reality that the rest know and changes things. Which means that there is a new reality, which means it was perhaps just a collective illusion after all. And so is the new reality.

I guess, reality is the sum of collective illusions. So, if this is ‘a truth’, then how do I go about seeing things as they are? Do I conform my own reality to fit it to other peoples? I would have to change religious view 30 times a day, which seems kind of absurd, really. But it might be the way to go in order to see things as they also are. How could I decide not to, why should I have patent on reality? By excluding religion from my path, I am doing so by the force of my own perception, which have faith in science. But it is still just a perception.

The other way to go about it is to mutually exclude anything that contradicts something else. Atheists and religious people would never agree on the god-issue, so I would need to exclude both in order to find something closer to reality. But how could they both be wrong? Well, they could, but then some other spiritual path would be ready to offer an answer, which I then would also have to exclude. Anyway I could possibly turn, I would have to exclude it, simply because I had found it. This is getting way too fluffy for me…

The third way is to question the need for seeing things ‘as they are’, to question my questioning of my perception. The answer to that is fairly simple (compared to the other choices I perceive myself to have). I don’t want to be fooled by my perception or my lack of self awareness. I don’t want to fool myself.

I don’t really care if the rest of society can trick me into conforming to some sets of rules, I have already made up my mind, that some rules are worth following, simply because I don’t want to choose the consequences of not following them. When I follow the rules and refrain from killing someone, it is not because I want to follow the rules. I don’t see social constructions as fixed, I see them as changeable guidelines, because I have seen them be changed by individuals.

I don’t want to fool myself, but I am doing so minute by minute. If I had the possibility for opening the door to my inner self, I would lock it and “forget” where I put the key. I don’t want my illusions to vaporize. Perhaps my spirit is nurtured by my own illusions? I think, the spirit, soul, sense of self, lives through the things we can imagine, the things we dream about, the things we want to feel. My illusions are my reality, and my spirit shines through it. Without some kind of illusion, I would not be… I would simply follow. So, fooling myself may be the fool that I am.

So perhaps my quest isn’t about seeing things as they are, but about creating the types of illusions, that I want my spirit to live out?

The things I tell myself about me are the things my spirit has to work with. If social constructions are changeable guidelines, then what I tell myself is what puts me where I am within the construction. The charming speaker and the shy chubby guy in the back of the room are telling themselves different things, which their spirits have to work with. If they switched inner voices, they might shift positions too.

Seeing things ‘as they are’ must be changed into: Seeing things as I want them to be.

So, my 7-year-old daughter has decided she believes in God and Jesus. I am, obviously, an atheist and I firmly believe that faith is something that should not be exposed to children. Let them become adults, before they make decisions of the spiritually altering kind. But of course, christianity is a part of the danish culture, and so my children are naturally exposed to it and especially around christmas and other “significant” holidays.

Above all I believe in choice and enlightenment. And when my daughter comes to me and asks me about God and Jesus, I feel obligated to teach her, because my own personal (lack of) beliefs should be mine alone. So I talk to her about it from the honest perspective of a non-believer, which she knows. I present it as great stories, fairy tails, rather than facts, and I try to emphasize the moral by using everyday examples. My daughter asks interesting questions, and even if this ends up being more than just a child’s faith, I am not worried about her. She has a very logical take on life, and in many ways I can tell that she fits the stories into what she already knows, rather than trying to transform what she knows into following the story.

This, to me, is a precious way of thinking. She can believe in whatever she wants, as long as it doesn’t overrule what she knows to be true. And yes, that is indoctrination on my part, it really is. But as a mother, it is my responsibility to give my children the tools to survive physically as well as mentally and spiritually. It is not my job to teach them what to believe in, what to eat, what to wear, what to say… I decide a great deal of this for them right now, but ultimately this is all decisions for them to make on their own. What I can give them is the ability to make “informed” decisions. Decisions that are based on what they know to be true, rather than what they would wish could come true.

As example, the time will come when my daughter will want to wear promiscuous clothing, hopefully not in another 9 years or so, but the time will come! I cannot then decide for her, that she should wear this neat dress with flowers and ribbons, if she really just wants to wear that miniskirt and latex tank top that matches the piercing and the torn apart stockings. I can only hope, that she will be aware of the signals she sends by putting on that outfit, and that she herself perhaps will find a nice balance. Teaching her to pay attention to what she knows to be true rather than what she would want to be true could make the difference.

Illusions work, because we want to be deceived. It is that simple. Wether it is the establishment of an empire, a religious perception, a seductive stranger or even just a commercial for washing powder, it is all just small games we play with ourselves. Subtle “Boy, if this was real…!” comments in the subconscious. that keeps the game going.

The difference between being a child and growing up isn’t that we stop playing, it is that we decide to play all day long. At least as children we are told when the game is over. As adults we have to figure that out all by ourselves, and we are still not old enough to do so.

And the more deeply involved we become in a game, the more we withdraw from reality. In the alternative world anything can happen – that is just fantastic. In the real world, anything could happen as well, but we don’t notice and we don’t care. We save ourselves for better times, where reality meets fantasy, only to realize that it isn’t going to happen unless we force fantasy to meet reality.

This would mean ending a game, and we don’t like that.

But if you’ve ever ended such a play, you have also felt the revelation that comes with it. It actually doesn’t hurt as much as you thought it would, because… well, 

It was just a game after all.

Inspired by recent discussions on Empath Community, I’ve decided to blog a little about my perspective on manipulation. The arguments can be divided into two obvious categories, those who are against it and those who see it as a necessary tool, that can be used for good purposes, if the intention is right.

I say, WE ALL DO IT! We do it all of the time, actually. And the problem is not, that some people advocate strongly against manipulation – the problem is that they too manipulate others and their perception restricts them from acknowledging it.

Manipulation is, as defined by my dictionary along with wikipedia, the ability to control or influence a person or situation. We do not control people in the terms of tying them up and forcing them to look in a specific direction. We control people by motivating them to see things from our perspective. We influence them to accept the ‘truths’ we portrait, and the art of manipulation lies in knowing how to do this properly.

If I overdo my attempt of manipulating you, I will fail. Of course it depends on your ability to see through it and look at my intentions, but if I go forwards too strongly, you will discover it. So I use different tools to cover my intentions. Not consciously! It is something that happens on many levels, and mostly it is just an assessment of message and receiver.

What would be the best approach for getting my message understood and validated by this person?

This question is embedded in our ‘language packages’ and it is active from the moment we learn how to speak. A child that wants a cookie will consider the best way of asking for it, and it usually turns out to be something like: “Mooooooomyyyyy?” With a little smile, a spark in the eyes and hands positioned for the ‘most innocent and loving’ look. Because the child knows, that the wrong approach will not result in a cookie.

The mother will usually know what the child is up to, just as she knows that crying is not necessarily because the child is sad. But it may still lead to the wanted result of the child. The mother understands and validates the child’s message because of the approach.

The above is an obvious example, but there are plenty of subtle forms of manipulation. The cloths you wear signals something about you. You decide how you want to be perceived, and people usually understand and validate your expression, even if you did not make it consciously. A woman in pink miniskirt and a tight tank-top manipulates her expression. The clothes she wears is not the whole true picture of who she is. It is a manipulated image of who she wants you to believe, she is.

The same actually applies to the guy who doesn’t seem to care about how he looks at all. He to sends a message that “He doesn’t care!” But he does care – otherwise he would ‘sometimes’ care and other times not. But that usually isn’t the case, because if he one day would show that he cares, he would ruin the image, an image he created with a purpose.

I am manipulating you right now as well. (if it works, that is. Otherwise you may see this as an attempt of manipulating you) Even my conscious decision about writing my intent so that you can read it, that too is a form of manipulation. You don’t have to lie to manipulate. You don’t have to deceive people or twist the truth in any way. Sometimes being ‘honest’ is the best approach for getting the message understood and validated. So that too is manipulation.

If what I write leads you to understand my message, then you have been controlled or influenced to see things the way I wanted you to see them. Or at least, I have made my perception understood through the approach I chose.

If it didn’t work, if you are one of those who sees manipulation as the work of Satan, I should have chosen a different approach. The above would not be suited for influencing you to see it my way – I would have used different arguments and expressed myself differently.

We all manipulate, we are all being manipulated, and the only problem with this, is that some people refuse to believe that they do so.

When I think about all the remedies, stones, aura readings, titles and much more that are being sold in the spiritual world, I can’t help but ask myself what it is we are substituting. I say we, because I too substitute for something whenever I write a blog post – I am no better than the rest.

A woman goes to a ‘professional’ for an aura reading. She is being told, that her aura is indigo, she is an indigo child. Of course she is! She was put here on earth to make it a better place, yes that is true. 

What can she use this information for? Now she will decide to make this place better? How? Or is it enough for her to ‘know’, that this was her destiny?

A woman goes to a spiritual shop to buy a crystal for her insomniac problems. She is told, that this particular stone will make her calm down, making it easier for her to fall asleep, if she puts it under her pillow. So, was it the stone, or her thoughts about the effect of the stone, that did the trick? Hey, if it works, it works, right?

But what if that same women a couple of days later finds out, that the stone was not actually under her pillow? It just slipped out and unto the floor. And yet her sleep had improved. Wouldn’t it be a true miracle to find out, that she didn’t even need the stone to begin with? Wouldn’t it be better, if she realized the potential of her mind rather than the effect of her stone?

A woman goes to buy a set of tarot cards. She buys the book as well. She starts working with them and it is almost (only almost) unbelievable how well these cards describes her current situation. It must be the spirits talking to her through the cards. Or maybe her own perception leads her to interpret the cards to fit her current situation? 

Wouldn’t it be cool, if she realized how she perceived her world? Wouldn’t it be great to find out, that she actually can determine how she wants to look at her ‘cards of life’, so that she can choose how to play them herself? 

A man (I don’t want to discriminate) is told by a clairvoyant that he has a wolf that follows him whenever he is in need of guidance. This actually helps him in stressed situations. Whenever he ends up in a situation, where he feels lost, he turns to this great animal for guidance, and it gives him a direction. 

Wouldn’t it be great, if he realized, that the guidance comes from within? That he himself is capable of finding a way out – that he can apply this to every aspect of his life instead of just the situations where he feels the most in need?

What I am getting at here is that the substitutes are cool. 

But my point is this:

The human mind, the human potential is far greater than we let ourselves believe. We have the ability to bounce back from almost any unpleasant situations, if we just expand our mind to that perspective. We do not need crystals, guides, tarot cards, pendants, lucky charms, amulets, aura readings or anything else. We can do this all on our own! It is right there! 

Right there!

Within.

I came across the question (which wasn’t actually a question, more like an evasive response) stated by Rose Rosetree in this interview. I realize, that the term “skeptic” is a naughty-naughty bad word in the spiritual world, and that is exactly why I feel the need to put matters into perspective.   

In my not so humble opinion, skepticism is what keeps us grounded. On every empath site I have stumbled across there is talk about grounding, how important it is and which techniques are the better. There is talk about how we should all take some time off just to do this, making it some kind of ritual in the every day life. And I tend to agree, that this should be done by all, who do not perceive the world with just a bit of skepticism. However, if you do put on the skeptic filter, you will not need to take time off for grounding techniques.

Skepticism is also what keeps us on the path, we choose to walk. There is a tendency to regard all postulations as either true or falls, because this is the easiest way of maneuvering through life. But that doesn’t mean, you will actually be moving. When we discover something new about ourselves, about our perceptions and our potential, we grow. We get to walk one step forward on the path or life journey. 

But how can we learn and grow, if we do not challenge ourselves, our beliefs and our potential?

How can we learn, if we do not dare “waste time” on the skeptics, the people who takes time to ask us the questions, we were not prepared to answer? How can you tell, that you are on the right track, if you do not wish to look at the map with hardcore facts? Afraid it’s going to burst the bubble of self delusion? It might… But how can you truly act and become a free spirit, if you are walking around in an illusion?

My path, my life journey is not about reaching a destination of enlightenment. It is not about getting to learn how to read auras or getting as many power animals and spiritual guides named Ingolf as I possibly can. It is not about becoming a clairvoyant or adding to my spiritual CV. It really has nothing to do with the empath ability either. I actually used to think so, back a couple of years ago, when I so desperately wanted a “gift” of some sort. He he, now I have it! And although this little observation makes me giggle, it really is just as interesting as drawing portraits. I know I can, when I am in the mood for it, but it hasn’t made me a more enlightened spirit.

My development goes within, into the deepest of my darkness and out again. I want to know ‘me’, I want to strive to become the most ‘me’ as I can be. So I need to confront myself, challenge myself, attach life and my perception of it. I need to dig down into my most horrible sites of me and deal with them. I can’t do that, if I choose to believe in something, that my mind silently disagrees with. It creates an imbalance, it holds me back from being me. 

A skeptical point of view is crucial, because it is the navigation system that keeps me on track. It doesn’t tell me where to go – that’s the point. It doesn’t say: “You are wrong!”  What it does is, it asks me: “Are you sure, this is the right way to go? Have you taken *this* perspective into consideration?”

From one skeptic to another, the above must seem like an even greater self delusion than the people who openly claim not to be skeptics. I am of course referring to the empath ability. And I have no way of proving to you, that I am not kidding myself supported by sheer luck. I have no explanation.

All I can say is that I experiment. And as long as I get feedback which supports my perception, I will continue to have it. If you have a critical perspective, skeptical questions or an article of relevance, please do share it with me! Convince me, I am wrong! 

- Malene