Oct
My Fingertips
Written by Malene
My fingertips touch the letters on the keyboard, and for the first time I sense it. Consciously. I’ve been clicking my way through the usual sites all evening, finding nothing. Nothing I was looking for. Perhaps because I don’t know, what I expected to find. I just know, that what I found was of no importance to me this evening.
My fingertips pad the letters, as if I knew what to write. As if I actually knew how to express myself. I make a lot of expressions, even now, but I can’t express my self. I can only sense, and I am overwhelmed.
My fingertips make errors, because I am forcing them to notice, what they are doing. I notice what I am doing as well, and yet I can’t interfere. I am withdrawing, and I must not prevent myself from doing so.
My fingertips are connected to my hands and my hands to my arms. I can only move my fingers, I am paralyzed. I am driven by the desire to express myself, but my mind creates pathways for denial. I can’t.
My fingertips long to feel.
But I can’t.
